I’ve always thought it odd how I have some memories that are crystal clear, and so many large portions of my past life that are gone, escaped from my consciousness, buried deep in my brain somewhere maybe but I don’t know how to access them. QUICK: What was I doing on September 3, 1997? No idea. I’ll never be able to tell you.

But I can tell you that one summer afternoon when I was about 5 or 6 years old I went to the kitchen to pour myself a big cup of Kool-aid and the pitcher was quite full and I was rather small and, well, the delicious sticky red beverage went all over the floor. And I remember thinking two things: 1) That’s a lot of Kool-aid on the floor and 2) Mom doesn’t like it when we waste things. Those two thoughts led to my next choice, which is why Mom walked in to find me on my hands and knees, licking that Kool-aid off the kitchen floor.

She was horrified, but honestly, she kept a really clean kitchen so it was probably fine.