Because life is mostly out of our control, and unpredictable, we need ways to build stability. GARDEN/notes/Safety is about feeling safe and being safe.

Stability is not about making sure nothing ever changes. It is about being able to manage changes when they happen.

Buffers (time, money, support) Options (people, skills, tools, places) Agency (the ability to choose and act on your choice) — Stability

Buffers: Things which protect us from being tossed around by every circumstance that happens. If you have buffers, it cushions the blow (and thus, lessens the impact) of whatever weird shit just happened in your life.

Options: Lighten your dependencies. Have more than one friend, build up more than one marketable skill, enjoy more than one hobby.

Agency: The ability to make a choice and enact that choice for yourself.

The more stability you have, the more you can relax and begin (eventually) to feel safe. Conversely, if you make yourself feel safe (through comfort measures, usually) but don’t actually build stability, you’ll eventually destroy your ability to feel safe because you’ll have trained yourself not to believe in safety.