Disagreeing is a skill and I can get better at it.

There’s a big difference between disagreeing and being disagreeable.

Being disagreeable is a state of mind, or attitude. If you’re disagreeable, you’re disinclined to find common ground with someone. You’re not hoping to be pleased or find connection. It’s not about a genuine conflict, a mismatch of values, or a misunderstanding. It’s an attitude.

Skillful disagreeing is about learning how to communicate clearly and appropriately when there is an actual disagreement. Appropriately does not mean “meeting societal standards for politeness” but responding with an appropriate amount of flexibility or vehemence given the topic and the context.