In the same way that debates are not conversations, being victorious in an argument (which can be indicated in a number of ways) is 100% not the same as influencing what someone thinks or being persuasive. In fact, things we know for sure:

• People don’t like to be humiliated, and certainly not in front of an audience. Winning an argument is just as likely to strengthen someone’s stance against your point of view because now it’s not just about the facts. It’s about being defeated.
• Arguments are often about power struggles. The goal isn’t to find common ground or gain understanding, but to establish dominance and gain a sense of security.
• If you really want to persuade or connect, arguments are counterproductive: “Arguing achieves a predictable outcome: it solidifies each person’s stance. Which, of course, is the exact opposite of what you’re trying to achieve with the argument in the first place.”