I don’t want social media popularity.

I don’t want to build a following, like a cult leader.

I don’t want to keep up with social media trends. I don’t want to know about the latest social media controversies. I don’t want to hear what people are arguing about. I don’t want to eavesdrop on people’s opinions. I don’t want to unroll threads or tap hearts or show care with an emoji. I don’t want to observe how people curate their own images.

I don’t want whatever Instagram has become. I don’t want the shouting on Twitter. I don’t want the ingrown groupthink on Facebook. I don’t want the jargony smile-speak of LinkedIn.

I don’t want to get good at it. I don’t want to be consistent at it. I don’t want to participate in it.

It’s like eating a stale donut: seems tempting because donut! but the whole experience is dissatisfying and disappointing and leaves me bloated and feeling icky. No thanks.